The Real World by Me

I hate it when people say
"You're not living in the real world
until you're on your own"
Because it implies that
in the real world
you're all alone.

Untitled by Me

I wish I could eat my sadness
So my stomach will be full
But sadly that is not the case
and instead
my mind is dull

Darling by Me

My heart flutters
like it's meant
to fly
But I will only
set it free
if it
makes it's way to you,
darling

My Love by Me

If I value my freedom
more than anything in the world
Why is it that
I'd drop everything
faster than
     the speed of light
     a bullet soaring through the summer air
     the beating of my heart
     (with lingering thoughts of you)
to be with you (my love)
Because although you can't be my first kiss
I sure as hell hope you'll be my last

Wall by Me

I built a wall around my heart,

a wall made of glass,

A glass so fragile that 

if you knock or smile

it shatters

and my heart comes pouring out

Untitled by Me

I want out

of these binds

that keep me away

from the freedom

I deserve

Idiot Box by Me

Idiot Box

put me in a box

and call me an idiot.

Ticking by Me

everywhere I go

I hear a clock ticking

like the world is telling me

"time's up"

Truth Be Told... by Me

All my life I've been told...                               But they didn't prepare me for what's really out there...

"Grades don't matter.",                              "If you don't get good grades, you won't get into college."

"It's okay to be yourself."                                             "Just act normal otherwise you'll get judged."

"Just follow your dreams."                     "You can have any job you want as long as it pays the bills."

"I'm always here for you."                                       "Once you're out of college, you're on your own."



**Editor's Note: It took a really long time for me to format it like this... hope you like it.

The Unjust Paradox by Me

They say that

"How can anyone love you

if you can't love yourself?"

But the truth is,

how can I love myself

if nobody loves me?

Untitled by Me

I go around asking strangers their stories, hoping one of them will care enough to hear mine.

~ kimmie ~

Motivation by Me

If motivation is key,
I must be locked out

Why Is It? by Me

Why is it that

if you get what you give

and I give all that I can give

I get nothing in return?

Why is it that

if your dreams always come true

and I dream all that I can dream

my dreams don't get accomplished?

Why is it that

if others are happy, you're happy

and I'm surrounded by happy people

my happiness hasn't surged?

Before My Eyes by Me

The rapid beating of my heart
displays the hidden fear

that I await from my future

that I revive from my past,

vulnerable and regretting.

The moment of catharsis,

happens when I search

for salvation

yet drown in my ocean

of intense emotions

as my life turns to it's

shambles of despair.

Time by Me

They say,
"In time, things will fall right in place"
Well, the clock's ticking
And all that's falling

are the tears

I call my own

my hope,

my motivation,

the bricks to my home

and more importantly

the cocoon

enveloping

my breaking heart 

Gateway of the Mind

In 1983, a team of deeply pious scientists conducted a radical experiment in an undisclosed facility. The scientists had theorized that a human without access to any senses or ways to perceive stimuli would be able to perceive the presence of God. They believed that the five senses clouded our awareness of eternity, and without them, a human could actually establish contact with God by thought. An elderly man who claimed to have “nothing left to live for” was the only test subject to volunteer. To purge him of all his senses, the scientists performed a complex operation in which every sensory nerve connection to the brain was surgically severed. Although the test subject retained full muscular function, he could not see, hear, taste, smell, or feel. With no possible way to communicate with or even sense the outside world, he was alone with his thoughts.

Scientists monitored him as he spoke aloud about his state of mind in jumbled, slurred sentences that he couldn't even hear. After four days, the man claimed to be hearing hushed, unintelligible voices in his head. Assuming it was an onset of psychosis, the scientists paid little attention to the man’s concerns.

Two days later, the man cried that he could hear his dead wife speaking with him, and even more, he could communicate back. The scientists were intrigued, but were not convinced until the subject started naming dead relatives of the scientists. He repeated personal information to the scientists that only their dead spouses and parents would have known. At this point, a sizable portion of scientists left the study.

After a week of conversing with the deceased through his thoughts, the subject became distressed, saying the voices were overwhelming. In every waking moment, his consciousness was bombarded by hundreds of voices that refused to leave him alone. He frequently threw himself against the wall, trying to elicit a pain response. He begged the scientists for sedatives, so he could escape the voices by sleeping. This tactic worked for three days, until he started having severe night terrors. The subject repeatedly said that he could see and hear the deceased in his dreams.

Only a day later, the subject began to scream and claw at his non-functional eyes, hoping to sense something in the physical world. The hysterical subject now said the voices of the dead were deafening and hostile, speaking of hell and the end of the world. At one point, he yelled “No heaven, no forgiveness” for five hours straight. He continually begged to be killed, but the scientists were convinced that he was close to establishing contact with God.

After another day, the subject could no longer form coherent sentences. Seemingly mad, he started to bite off chunks of flesh from his arm. The scientists rushed into the test chamber and restrained him to a table so he could not kill himself. After a few hours of being tied down, the subject halted his struggling and screaming. He stared blankly at the ceiling as teardrops silently streaked across his face. For two weeks, the subject had to be manually rehydrated due to the constant crying. Eventually, he turned his head and, despite his blindness, made focused eye contact with a scientist for the first time in the study. He whispered “I have spoken with God, and he has abandoned us” and his vital signs stopped. There was no apparent cause of death.

Note: I found this on tumblr the other day and I was so fascinated by this I just felt the need to share this with everyone. This post speaks to me on so many levels, I don't even have enough words to describe how true and just absolutely riveting this is. After I finished reading this, shivers just ran through my body because well I still can't stress enough how intriguing and perfect and valid this is!

Disease by Me

We live in a world of sickness
that doctors can not cure
The only remedy
lies beneath your inner soul
Nothing anyone says
can heal your heart's disease
Anything anyone does say
has the opportunity to expand
this plague
into an intangible holocaust.

~ Kimmie ~

Note: I think this is my best poem yet.. I hope you like it :)

They Tell You To Be Independent by Me

They tell you to be independent

Yet they go ahead

and tell you what to do

They tell you it’s your choice

Yet they judge you

for your decision

They tell you to aim high

Yet they pull you down instead

They tell you to be happy

Yet make it impossible for you to smile

They tell you mistakes are meant to be made

Yet they admonish you

when you do something wrong

When can I live life on my own terms?

When the unsuccessful become successful?

When the ugly become pretty?

When the dumb become smart?

When the ordinary become unique?

When the living become dead?

Is it worth being a reflection of what they tell?

~ Kimmie ~

Simply Infinite by Me

There's something
about long car rides,
gliding
on the smooth surface
while calm music plays
in the background,
that entrances me
and gives me
the blurry

illusion

of complacency.

~ Kimmie ~

If Grades Aren't Everything by Me

If grades aren't everything

Then why do I study so hard

Only to fail?

If looks aren't everything

Then why do I dress comfortably

Only to be judged?

If personality is everything

Then why do I try so hard

To be a better person

When everybody only cares about

My grades and how I look

~ Kimmie ~